Hue Jackson final piece to “greatest trade in football”



What if you woke up one morning and realized you had set yourself up for future success without even knowing it?

You know, like positioning yourself on the toilet for your morning dump without even waking up? Or accidentally sending flowers to the ‘wrong’ girl at work who turns out to be hotter; who then proceeds to shove you into a bathroom stall and go Big Ben all over your ass?

Well, if your name is Hue Jackson…then the ‘what if’ is ‘whatever’, because you kind of just did that.

Yup, this guy managed to get himself a top ten caliber Quarterback during his time as head coach in Oakland only to then wind up in Cincinnati just in time for the first of a possible two first round picks to join him there. He should pat himself on the back with both hands, for Christ sakes.

The downside for the Raiders is that the Bengals will get to pick righteously with a good team already in place. All the while, the Raiders are left wondering if they should trade someone like Darren McFadden to try and put a band aid on some of gaping wounds Action Jackson opened up. He traded away the farm and all the chickens, with the eggs and left the coup in much doubt to hatch ‘Greatness’ like Al Davis coveted. 

I will give credit to where credit is due though; this guy planted a wild seed in the cracks of a hellish trade, and managed to reap the benefits of both ends of it. In other words, he’s like a dude that went to bed with Sandra Bullock and woke up beside Jessica Biel – he f@#kin came up, OK?


Despite the fact he’s not a coordinator or even coaching the offensive side of the ball now…he’s not going to work for a shitty team this year. Plus, I’m sure Mike Brown is anxious to pump some air into Hue’s balls to re-inflate them after a couple months of shrinkage. I mean, he only spoonfed him two high draft picks for an expendable and some would say ‘over the hill’ quarterback. At this point Brown should be giving Hue weekly mani/pedis and bottomless Irish coffees while topless.

The Bengals sitting pretty with two a first round pick to be added to a playoff team so they aren’t worried about Hue’s ego. Plus, they got ‘Chucky lite’, Jay Gruden, running the offense there anyway so if Hue tries to butt his head into offensive meetings, Jay can implement one of his brother’s wicked facial expressions, stomp his feet, and tell Hue he can X-O his way the hell back to the “special” teams room.

Whether Raider fans hate or love Hue Jackson it doesn’t matter. Hue took his pixie dust and his happy thoughts and flew off to never-won-a-championship-land in Cincinnati.

You see, when Hue said “Wow!” and laughed for the first time, his laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of the greatest trade in football.

–This article is from the twisted mind of AJ DeMello and is for entertainment purposes only.

About Levi Damien, Senior Writer

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