Former Raider News: Routt takes the rival route, Campbell calls off wedding

Oh, snap. Stanford Routt is a Kansas Chief. And…does anyone really care?

I suppose some people care. Namely, Raider fans who see KC signing Routt as a good thing. Because now they get to hear “Pass interference, number twenty-six of the defense..” coming from an AFC West rival, rather than from one of their highest-paid, selfish players on a bad defense.

Let’s be honest here though; Routt was an above average corner who was as undisciplined as Rex Ryan’s stomach lining.

Routt’s 17 penalties and eight given-up touchdowns tied him for the most in the NFL by any cornerback for the 2011 season. Getting paid the big bucks like he was to do that was unacceptable to Reggie Mckenzie, as it should be. The money paid to Routt last year would have probably been better off donated to a stripper’s college tuition.

The best news about Routt leaving and going elsewhere is that the Raiders will very likely target New Orleans free agent defensive-back Tracy Porter, who was coached up by Raiders Head Coach Dennis Allen from 2008-2011. This included the Saints Super bowl win in which Porter intercepted Peyton Manning and scored to all but seal the victory.

Going from Stanford Routt to Tracy Porter would be like watching “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” for the first time after years of watching “Two and a Half Men”—suddenly you realize what you were watching pretty much sucked but you didn’t know it until something better came along.

Strap on that Lapband, Raider fans. More fat will soon be trimmed…

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IN OTHER FORMER RAIDER RELATED NEWS: eports have surfaced that Jason Campbell told broke it off with his fiance just hours before they were set to be married today. Talk about the cold shoulder…

Maybe Campbell’s bride-to-be had an agreement that he would carry her from the altar to their “Just Married” petting wagon – but Campbell refused. The former future Campbell’s chunky wife was just too much for Jason’s injured shoulder to handle. So he chose the dump pass.

Jason Campbell stood in that pocket of vows, shed his commitment, and just…checked it down. Something of which the Raider Nation has become all too familiar.

She wanted a long term deal with guaranteed money that was mmm-mmm, good and Campbell served her a pipin’ hot bowl of Hell no! Hmm-mm, bad.

My source also claims that Jason Campbell’s best man kind of looked like Bruce Gradkowski, so the pressure to commit was really on.

–This content of this article comes from the twisted mind of AJ DeMello and is for entertainment and comedy purposes only.

About Levi Damien, Senior Writer

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