First annual irreverent Raiders midseason awards

With the bye week approaching, it is a good time to look back at the first half and hand out some awards to deserving members of the Oakland Raiders football team.

Every one gives out the standard awards, so we decided to place our tongue firmly into our cheeks and have a little bit of bye week fun.

 

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot award:

In week eight against the Seattle Seahawks, quarterback Jason Campbell tossed the ball to Darrius Heyward-Bey who batted the ball into the air. The ball then ricocheted off of wide receiver Jacoby Ford before it was snatched out of the air by Michael Bush who took the pass play for 55 yards.

Glass Joe memorial award:

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Anyone of a certain age remembers sitting in front of a NES and playing Mike Tyson’s Punchout and Glass Joe was first opponent who went down for the count early and often. This award is named in his honor for the player who spends the most time on the trainer’s table. The winner by a landslide was Chaz Schilens who has yet to take the field this season. In his Monday newscast, Schilens was the one player Cable had the most doubt for being ready for Pittsburgh after the bye week.

The “Maybe Al Davis hasn’t lost it” award:

Mike Mitchell’s selection in the second round was universally panned. He has Chris Berman waving around Mel Kuiper, Jr’s draft book because Mitchell wasn’t even mentioned in its’ pages, and the Raiders had drafted him in the second round. In his second year, Mitchell has evolved into a solid player with a nose for the ball, who only looks to improve.

Godzilla v Bambi award:

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This one goes to the entire Oakland Raiders team for their performance in Denver. The Broncos had about as much chance against the Raiders that day as the fawn had against the great lizard in the classic short film. The Broncos would have been better off not showing up to Invesco and taking a forfeit instead of the 59-14 pasting they took.

Shooting star award:

Jacoby Ford had a meteoric rise from obscurity in the Raiders win over the Kansas City Chiefs. The rookie fourth round pick entered the game with four career catches for 37 yards. In that game he had six catches for 148 yards and added another 158 yards in kickoff returns including a 94 yard return for a touchdown.

Flash Gordon award:

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Richard Seymour has been the defender of the Raiders’ Universe. He’s tied with Tommy Kelly for second on the team in sacks. He has also been critical in their resurgence against the run. He nearly single-handedly contained the Kansas City Chiefs vaunted rushing attack. He is the one guy along the defensive line that offenses have to account for on every play.

The Aristocrats award:

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May as well name the award for the best offenseive player for the most offensive joke. Darren McFadden has been by and far the motive power of the Raiders offense. He is fourth in the NFL in rushing despite missing two games due to a hamstring injury. He is running hard on every carry and making defenders pay for trying to tackle him. He enters the bye week with 999 total yards and 757 rushing yards. He currently leads the league in rushing yards per game with 108. After watching McFadden shred their team’s defense, all defensive coordinators can say is “The Aristocrats.”

About Patrick A. Patterson, Senior Writer

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