Hanson resurfaces, whining like a boy band

So the incident that occurred at Raider training camp that sent defensive assistant Randy Hanson to the hospital with a broken facial bone, is gaining some serious traction.

Mike Silver of Yahoo! Sports is reporting that a source close to Hanson revealed that Hanson was back in the hospital Wednesday night. Apparently, he is complaining of jaw pain and swelling. Also it was revealed that it was not simply a facial bone that was broken but specifically a fractured jaw bone that Hanson was suffering from.

Brad Biggs of the National Footbal Post is now reporting that Hanson has retained the services of an attorney and all medical records will now be turned over to the Napa police department. The department will be seeking felony charges against Tom Cable for the alleged incident. Which means the Raiders are looking at an all-out investigation. With three weeks until the season starts, this is exactly what this team does not need. Not to mention the fans. I mean, is it absolutely necessary for Raiders fans to have to endure this kind of controversy EVERY offseason?

And of course, with any Raider controversy, the unnamed sources are coming out of the woodwork. Mike Silver’s sources say that Cable “is definitely” responsible for the injury and that “I was told Tom had to be pulled off of him two times.”

Wait, his source was told? So his sources have sources? That is a bit of a stretch isn’t it? I am suddenly hearing that girl in the Ferris Bueller’s class that went on and on about how someone told someone else and so on and so on…”That he passed out at the 31 flavors last night.”

He sites yet another unnamed former Raider assistant as saying: “The environment sucks there. Everybody just wants their side to do well so Al doesn’t call them out. Trust me, after what just happened with Cable, this staff already knows they’re fired.”

Really? Since when does anyone on the Raiders get fired for controversy? Is this guy serious? Has he ever heard of “Just Win Baby”? If this staff gets fired, you can bank it would be because they didn’t win. If they win, then Al Doesn’t give a rat’s backside about a little controversy.

Then Mike Silver says that Brad Biggs says that an unnamed source says (sigh), “Cable knocked Hanson out of his chair and up against the wall and into a cabinet. Cable and Hanson fell to the floor, where Hanson was choked, . . . and Cable was pulled off Hanson by the other men before Cable went after Hanson again.” And that Cable then threatened Hanson by saying:”I am going to kill you, I am going to kill you.”

It is hard to read that without hearing a gum chewing blonde twirling her hair explaining it doesn’t it?

Brad Biggs’ sources also say that Cable had kicked Hanson off the practice field where he had been coaching the defensive backs, and relegated him to the film room. Biggs claims that Cable had been trying hard to eliminate Hanson’s role in coaching the defense for “months”. And eventually he told Hanson not to come to practice.

This explains why no one in the media can recall seeing Hanson even prior to the alleged incident on August 5.

Considering the fact that the news of all of this just went public right after Cable has either refused to comment or flat out denied that anything happened, the timing of the swelling in Hanson’s jaw is curious to say the least. Not to mention his hiring an attorney.

Mark my words; this will not end up as a felony charge against Cable. That is clearly not what Hanson wants out of this. He was shoved aside by the team and he wants a nice hefty settlement from Cable and/or the Raiders. And there is no doubt he will get it.

But until then, this “incident”, whether a kicking of a chair, a grab from behind, a punch in the face, a choke, or a throwing across the room, will not go away any time soon. Unlike the the pre pubescent blonde haired boy band, this Hanson is not a flare up that will fizzle just as fast. And that little mmbop Hanson received that broke his jaw is going to get him mmpaid. Your welcome for that catchy tune you now have in your head.

About Levi Damien, Senior Writer

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