MVN: Most Valuable Network

That denizen of the Dark Side, Raider X, is back by popular demand. The recent reappearance of Marques Tuiasosopo and departure of Stuart Schweigert sent up the X signal and got the gears turning for him to churn out some new Thoughts from the Dark Side.

Tui Returns, Stui departs and more of Raider X’s (lack of) thoughts

by Raider X

Special to Thoughts from the Dark Side

Well, well, well, so I finally decide to use this computer thing and type up a new diatribe of Raider thoughts. I have to be honest with everyone; I am one of those people who doesn’t say something for the sake of saying something. I know that hurts Patrick and Rob for what they try to do but they do such a good job that I can pop in whenever I get a few second.

First off I will look back at the draft. I must say people who BMW (whined, moaned, and you can guess the first one) about the selection of Darren McFadden as the first selection of the Raiders need to pull there head out of their Bronco. Ohhhhh, the Raiders have this magical RB depth. You have Justin Fargas who has never, ever played a full season in his professional life. Michael Bush has been healthy one out of the last 4 years. LaMont Jordan is on the football version of death row. I think the execution is set for June 1, 12:01 am. Dominic Rhodes was cut. I wonder if he wet his pants over hearing he was gone. Plus, I am not sure if you have heard this before folks, McFadden is a great player. He may have chicken legs and coughed up the ball a few times at Arkansas but it seems Tom Rathman has already corrected his ball positioning and was ultra productive. McFadden is going to be an explosive weapon who can be a Reggie Bush type of weapon. I am not saying he is as nimble as Reggie Bush but you would be nimble too if you were trying to avoid getting crabs from Kim Kardashian. BTW, I googled Reggie Bush and Tila Tequila because I thought they were dating, which I thought was a bit off since the chicks at the gym usually have half the TVs turned onto that show when I am on the Precor. I don’t care; I just usually watch whichever chick’s butt in spandex is in front of me. It’s good (Australian Beer Commercial Voice) MOTIVATION. Anyhooters, back to the draft.

I will be the first to say I wasn’t too happy with whom the Raiders selected on day 2. I think that goes with the fact they drafted a DB, two small college WRs and a DE. I have to think it was because I had never heard of any of them. I called a friend of mine who scouts DBs for a website and he says Branch was a fast riser who is extremely fast, may return kicks, and was played out of position for Uconn. The other 3 guys, I don’t know about so again, not going to waste time rehashing other peoples reports on them.

Rhodes got cut, oh well. The writing was on the wall with his salary. The Raiders have signed Greg Spires since I have been gone, which is a good move. He will bring some veteran leadership, tons of experience and a surgically repaired knee to Oakland. He isn’t a superstar, but he isn’t DeLawrence Grant either.

The Raiders brought back Tui. I felt bad for him the last few years in Oakland. He lost Gannon as a mentor. Then the poor guy had to sit the bench and be the most popular player of the KFC era. He had to sit through different philosophy changes. He was a WCO QB with Gruden and for a game with Callahan. He then went to the vertical game offense of Norv and finally the… um, the offense… um, I guess the take 7 steps and get crushed no offense of Tom Walsh (dry heave). I’d say it’s probably for a minimal signing bonus and salary so I say good move.

I know half or more of the Raider Nation is about to have a parade for the release of Stu Schweigert. It might hard to pull off with all those Niner fans having ones in SF since they revoked some marriage law that I saw on the cable news. I am not going to say which network it is because I do not wish to unleash or reveal my political opinions. With that being said, Stuart Schweigert was the Hillary Clinton of the Oakland Raiders. Stu was loved by some and hated by many, probably at the same rate, though I think Hillary wraps up better or is that just wishful thinking from the Obama camp. Cutting a back up who was due 2.5 million dollars wasn’t a hard decision. I do have a few words of advice for you Stuart. First off, it’s called a curl. You do curls (with weights btw) to get bigger and stronger biceps. Biceps are what help you wrap up and hold onto things, like running backs. You, Mr. Schweigart have the biceps of Dave Dravecky. Second of all, badmouthing the organization that paid you millions of dollars to be average on a good day is a bit classless. Why don’t you have some balls to say something about the defense when you were gainfully employed? You were the whipping boy of the Raiders defense? Well duh. I didn’t see anyone whiffing on so many piss poor attempts at tackles like you did. If you want a defense to suit your weakass excuses, arms, and tackling I say try calling the guy who defends Pacman Jones. If he can keep that walking slimebucket in the NFL, he should do wonders with you.

Blogger’s note-To those who didn’t get the biceps of Dave Dravecky line, Dave was a pitcher with the Giants back in the late 80s who developed cancer in the arm and had to have his left arm amputated. I would like to apologize to cancer survivors, amputees, and former Giant pitchers for having to be compared physically to Stuart Schweigart. In case you were drinking something at that same time, I would like to apologize to your computer screens as well. Don’t you wish Dennis Miller explained his remembering some, contrived, old story the left you wondering what the hell was about and why the hell is Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football.

Lamont Jordan, what would you like for your last meal? Or if you listen to Warren Sapp, last meals?