Not Necessarily Incorrect Sports News: Vol 15

Good day everyone. Old faithful LDizzle here. It is time again for my unique coverage of the news from around the sports world. I leave few stones unturned, unpassed or unthrown. Tonight! Is the McNabb, “I didn’t know there could be a tie”, story dead? Let’s ponder that and talk about it for a week or so. Jim Fassel is refuting reports that he is interested in the Raiders head coaching job. Now we KNOW it is true. If Joey Porter trash talked in the forest and there was no one there to hear him, would he still be a douchebag? All I want is peace but I have no index finger so I am always sending the wrong message. THIS is The Not Necessarily Incorrect Sports News!


- Immediately following his release as quarterbacks coach at West Texas A&M, Ryan Leaf was brought in for an interview for a similar position with the Oakland Raiders. As soon as Al Davis took a look at Leaf he said “Come to think of it, we are actually a little thin at Nose Tackle.”

- Last Sunday the Bengals and Eagles game ended in a tie. They say that a tie is like “kissing your sister.” If that is true then watching that game was like going down on her while she is menstruating.

- The tie gives the Bengals a record of 1-8-1 which I believe is morse code for S-O-S.

- During a press conference following the Eagles game Donavan McNabb said that he “didn’t even know it could end in a tie.” He has always been a little slow on the uptake. Just a couple of years ago he learned the hard way that the Superbowl had a fourth quarter and he has yet to learn that the regular season is 16 games long.

- The Eagles tie with the lowly Bengals has caused many Philadelphia fans to call for the firing of Andy Reid and the trading of Donovan McNabb. They are also calling for the release of Ryan Howard from the Phillies after he finished a pitiful second place in the NL MVP race. 

- Last week on NFL Live Trey Wingo said “To borrow from Raiders of the Lost Ark 3 ‘they didn’t choose wisely.’” Um..Trey? “Raiders of the Lost Ark” is the first INDIANA JONES film. “The Last Crusade” was the third INDIANA JONES film. I got one for ya Wingy; How about you borrow a line from “The Empire Strikes Back 3″?

- This week it was revealed that Manny Ramirez was about to be suspended by the Red Sox just before they decided to trade him to the Dodgers. The reason was that he refused to play because of constant pain in his knee. Then when he was sent to see a doctor he couldn’t remember which knee it was. I wonder if Theo Epstein remembers which foot he used to kick Manny’s ass out the door?

- New Redskin, DeAngelo Hall, had an interception in their game against the Cowboys on Sunday. It occurred when Tony Romo threw a ball behind his intended receiver. Doesn’t Tony Romo know that behind the receiver is where Hall is always going to be?

- Mark Cuban is being investigated on suspicion of insider trading and it is said to be as serious as the Martha Stewart indictment. If “insider trading” is such a big deal then Jerry Buss and Jerry West should be a bit nervous about that scam job they pulled getting Pao Gasol to the Lakers last season.

- The Steelers defeated the Chargers on Sunday by a score of 11-10. Much of the credit for the win goes to home field advantage but more specifically the “Terrible Towels” that intimidated and frightened the Chargers players. Nowhere else in sports can one find such a fearsome act than waving a “Terrible Towel.” Other items waved at games that were less successful include “Dreadful Drapes,” “Wretched Wrags,” and “Creepy Cloths.”

- After reports surfaced last week that Jim Harbaugh may be interested in coaching the Raiders next season, he is now reportedly about to sign a 3 year deal to remain at Stanford. It seems that shock therapy worked.

- Brett Favre, Kerry Collins, and Kurt Warner are three of the best quarterbacks in the league on three of the best teams. In related news, this year’s ProBowl will be brought to you by AARP.

- Snoop Doggy Dogg appeared on ESPN’s “Around the Horn” on Wednesday. The first words he said were “Shizzle my Dizzle.” Thanks for the shout out Snoop. I owe you one. Would you like that in cash, check, chronic or wire transfer?

- Word came out last week that Al Davis may be getting a GM. Days later, General Motors asked congress for a $30 billion bailout.

- The Yankees are at it again trying to buy another championship. They have already offered a record contract to CC Sabathia and are in talks with nearly every other big free agent on the market. They should just follow the Patriots model and give their money directly to the officials. The results are much more reliable.

- This week it was reported that Jim Fassel sent a letter to Al Davis expressing his interest in coaching the Raiders. NFL Network is already putting together the reality show for the Raiders next season starring Jim Fassel and Al Davis. They will call it “Fassel and Fossil.”

– Disassociated Press

About Levi Damien, Senior Writer

Quantcast